Life accomplishments

A friend of mine has just expressed her disappointment at turning 25. She said she feels like she's accomplished nothing in her 25 years. and I had the exact same thought while walking through town the other day (except we've only been around for 2 years), and I've come up with a list of things that we have accomplished in this time. I think it feels like nothing because the things we accomplish in the first fifth or quarter of our lives seem like things we have to accomplish, or things that everyone else accomplishes. They seem less special because they are taken for granted. I tried to cheer my friend up with a list of what she's achieved, but at the same time it got me thinking "what have I achieved?", and at the same time, "what do I want to achieve in my next twenty years?".

In the first ten years of our lives, most of us learn to talk, to walk, to control our bodily functions, to communicate effectively, to form relationships, to understand right and wrong, to explore our surroundings, to read, to make friends, to treat others the way we wish to be treated, to act appropriately, the differences between want and need, and so many other things. Most of us go to school for thirteen years, and learn new things and learn more on top of what we already know. In those thirteen years we learn how to interact with other people our age, how to deal with people we do and don't like, how to interact with authority figures, to abide by rules that we may not like, manners, to care about others, on top of the school based education of maths and english and history. We learn how to fight and resolve issues, and how to compromise, and also how to go without so that other people may have. People learn different things. Some people might learn how to survive with little, while others may learn that money is the only thing they need. Some people may realise that life is easy, while others will learn how to overcome whatever difficulties they have. Some people learn life skills earlier than others, and some people gain independence before others. The teenage years are full of learning; you learn your body and how it changes, you learn how to form intimate relationships with other people your age, you defy authority and learn the consequences. For some people that last one doesn't happen, and they learn that they can keep defying authority but they don't realise how dangerous it is. Some people learn that love is unconditional, and some learn that it is something that is earned and deserved. Some people are lead to believe that they are not loveable, and those are the people that should be loved the most.

The conclusion of thirteen years of schooling is a big accomplishment, although not everyone makes it that far. The schooling years are often seen as the easiest or the best, but in truth they're really quite troubled and problematic, so it is an accomplishment to survive them, when some don't survive. The things learnt in the playground at school are just as important as the things learnt in the classroom, sometimes more important. The life skills, like communication and interaction, are carried throughout life.

In twenty years I have accomplished all of the above. I've learnt how to communicate effectively and what ineffective communication is. I've learnt how to make friends and how to lose them. I've learnt how to argue, and how to know when I'm right and when I'm wrong. I've learnt to be compassionate and empathetic and to be there for other people when they need me. I've learnt that love is both unconditional and earned at the same time. I've learnt to love myself after I have not been loved. I've learnt just what happiness is by knowing the opposite. I've made friends and enemies for life, and learnt that the enemies don't matter as much as the friends. I've learnt that someone people will just not like you, and you don't have to like them either. I've learnt that real life is very different to what it's supposed to be. I've learnt how to deal in situations that some other people haven't experienced, and I've learnt that some other people will have far more experience in their lives than I have in mine.

I really do feel like I've accomplished a fair bit in this twenty years, even though the majority of those things are things that everyone accomplishes. That doesn't make them any less meaningful. Some people don't get the chances that I get. Even though I've mostly just been doing what all people my age have been doing; finishing school, starting uni, making friendships and relationships, learning life skills, exploring, I still feel as if I have accomplished something. No one will experience their life exactly the way I experience mine, and I will experience my life completely differently compared with everyone else. Now, what do I want to accomplish in the next twenty years? That's a different question, and one I cannot answer at this moment. I don't know. Is 'everything' too broad an answer?