The Past Revisited

The moment has past,
The danger has ceased,
The shift in power averted,
For I am the one who holds the cards.

Creator of stars,
Keeper of my own destiny,
I lay down my standards,
I draw my own lines.

I shall live life my way -
For it is the only way in which,
I shall be truly happy.
I call no man master.

I am the decendant of royality,
I am the rebirth of creation,
I am the goddess divine,
I know myself like no other.

My place is where I wish it,
Not within your arms,
I do not bend - I do not yield,
I do not compromise.

For if you want a simpering angel,
To accept you for who you are,
Cast your eyes down from me -
And settle for her charms.

Every man I meet -
I meet with the same fire and passion,
I will not be tamed, I will not be restrained,
For this I shall never apologize.

Although I know of my vanity,
I also have a price to pay,
I walk along often alone,
There are few who share my vision.

The elements keep me comfort,
in the quiet of day and night,
For passion rarely slumbers,
And my soul is never quiet.

The world is but my playground,
A thing of simple delights,
A place to stop and wonder,
To enjoy those often overlooked sights.

Words are my forte,
They flock to me with glee,
Begging for my consideration,
Everso eager to please.

And so the Goddess of deepest blackest eyes,
Writes with the diviness of her soul,
Pouring her thought past her cherry wood tresses,
On to the paper to be met with the eyes of many.

Skies in my Eyes

For quite some time now,
I have believed

Howard hung the moon.

His hands know just how to hold

To lift off high into the sky
perfectly calculated degrees.

A tug of his lips and that smile
graces the sky, lighting up the night
my eyes upon the moon as I sigh.

The moon is hung in the night sky
as it could only be hung by his hands
I believe Howard hung the moon.

Taking Over

I had a dream last night...

He's waiting for me now
I can feel it

He's calling for me
So close now
I can feel the road taking over
As it pulls me to a new destination
Somewhere previously unseen
As the way becomes narrower
My mind makes quick logs of the change in atmosphere
My body begins to acclimate
And the bead of sweat completes the circuit of thought running along my face
The stars beg me to still believe

I believe

He's dragging me closer to him

So he can throw me with all his strength in the other direction

But it's okay
The sand soaks up all the sweat

Between the Sea and Me

Dead skin always wears the same putrid scent. The only way to feel again is to slowly peel through the layers until you feel the sharp pierce of a gentle touch on raw flesh. We use whatever tools we have, we make some up.

We learn to bury our dead.

And my head hangs low, horns twisted round themselves. I think I could learn to make this right. After all, there's no one left to blame except my father's only daughter.

I think often of redemption. I meditate on martyrdom.
My satyr horns tangle deeper in the underbrush. My saturnine hooves forget how to kick.

But I'd like to switch my metaphors, please.
These wings are weak, but we'll make it home, I swear. And if I heed my own warnings, I will abide. We will feel alive. In here, in there, wherever. Who cares?

I'm well acquainted with passion. At times, overwhelming, I know.
But who needs the sun, anyway? I've always thrived at night.

Burning of Troy

I remember the way he stroked the keys,
the wave of his voice sounded out,
the boy he started out as, and I

that commanding woman as unfolded.
How we fought, oh those nights
I screamed through the phone,
I slammed it down and he laughed.


How he knew me, knew me
well, and knew when we talked
there were no sparks, but forest fires
raging out of control, how deep his
desire, his urge to possess.


Yet I burned right through him
could not hold onto me, as his
hands burned, his eyes blinded
we tangoed in tangled sheets
high above mankind, planting
seeds of memories, how he
dreamed, dreams still, of every
sway of my hips, the way I
bite my bottom lip, that light
in my eyes as it clicks,
and the anger that seared him
quiet, for no longer
does he voice his claim,
I am my own keeper,
divine woman on fire,
creator of stars, destiny
in hand, I walk forward still.

Rekindled

My eyes come alive and I read
those sentimental verses of sap,
I look in the mirror and laugh
where did that come from?

I peel away the sugar coated skin,
flinging it away, as far away as I can,
That thing has crept over me again,
that horror that changes me,
sucks the life from me,
and makes me demure.

How I hate that look on my face,
staring back at me, this is not
who I am, I worked too hard
to give it all up for nothing.

Let me open that box
empty it and lie in it
for this path is death
and it is not me, I am
the pulsing in the night,
that all men reach for
and I will not be dimmed,
I will not tiptoe
I command attention
with this face that inspires men.

Displacement

Red embers flow down my wrists
From cigar ashes like a river of sticks
The cold gnawing at my fingertips
A car window barely cracked
The singer in the background
He doesn't cease, he cannot
Provides me with the chorus
The verse and the song
Prose-poetry, heartfelt and intermingled
He's delivering the Vedas
I'm enraptured
"God will forgive me, but I, I whip myself with scorn."
Driving to a nowhere destination
In my mind
There will come a day when this will all give out
And running dry, the fish in my stream
Will stare blankly up to me, questioning
Hear them screaming for the waters
What they cannot live without
And haven't the strength to search for
In a sea of salt, face down and dazed
Every slight laceration burning
Every little wound cut right open again
I hold myself....silent
Contained, probing, searching
Where have all my fish gone to?
Evaporated, dried up and gone
Left me here with this over abundance of nothing
This pathetic, useless mineral deposit
A hole in the world in place of my old Taoist river
I've lost the flow
And going against is just endless suffering
Being thrown in every which way
"Don't build your world around....volcanoes melt you down."

Don't Call My Name

If things remain this way
Then, I'm pulling out, I'm through
Just thought you deserved to know
And that's exactly why I'm not telling you
So, when you get this message
Don't bother trying to return it

Because....

Of everything
And now that you're out of sight
Believe me when I tell you
You're out of mind
.
.
.
.
I'm still thinking about you

She Bears No Fruit

The barren tree crooked and bent,
like a senile old woman,
has forgotten what she is for,
has forgotten how it feels
to have leaves growing
in her branches.

She no longer feels the rush

of food through her core,
photosynthesized memories
are her only nourishment.

She forgets the feeling of Spring,
her youths bloomed and blown
in the breeze, now she is brittle
long past any usefulness,
it’s only a matter of time
before dry rot sets in.

Welling Up

"Nobody loves me."

Drunk on your laughter. Your tears bleeding through my eyes. Drowning now in something incomprehensible and vague. I know you know exactly what I mean.

"Nobody loves me."

Forcing down these tears in a backroom bathroom. My palm against the wall. Waiting for you to come and end this. Waiting for you to put a stop to it all.

"Nobody loves me....It's true."

The world ceased spinning yesterday. I watched everyone flail away. And I wonder if we'll ever again be the same. Ever get back to this. And have control once more.

"Nobody loves me....It's true."

Picking out your voice in a crowd of thousands. Seeking desperately for a glimpse of your face. I need to touch you. I need to feel this. I need to find myself weak and vulnerable. You leave me

completely

defenseless.

"'Cause nobody loves me....It's true....Not like you do."

Awaiting Sturmaz

We were clouded lovers,
with lightening in our veins
and thunder between our lips,
rolling in raindrops,
nothing between us but a wisp
of darkened sky.

Oh the storms we stirred between us,
silent and smoldering grayed skies,
weeping softly, violent winds
and pelting hail, torrents of downpours
saturating the ground.

I still see storm clouds
when I look in your eyes,
I still feel the lightening
coursing through me,
and I wait for you in the sky,

come make rain with me.

How Mature

This makes me want to breathe again
Somewhere along the way
I must have forgotten how
So, now I'm taking lessons from another
I'm pretty sure that lesson number one
Was to keep your head above the surface
"With focus that's strong, but my strength keeps slipping."
I'll work on step number two when I get there
It's so easy to fall back sometimes
However....
Push things forward
"And I admire your strength. You keep us going on. You keep us fighting long after the fire."

Insomnia

We sleep in shifts, never seeming
the same time scheme, dreams
never overlapping.

I watch you sleeping, I can't
bring myself to stay still, to lay
beside you in what would
surely be a time in which we
could sleep together.

I make use instead of your
slumber by writing to you,
by thinking about you, afraid
I might miss something if -
I just close my eyes.

Recovering in Reds

You have saved me in so many ways,
and I don't think you can see it.
Saved me from holding on
to a sinking ship relation.
Saved me from the 3am
loneliness that whispers in the dark.
Saved me from false friends
that I could not see.
Saved me from surpressing
the truest part of who I am.
Saved me from a life
of never knowing you -
for that is even painful to imagine.
Saved me with a soulful bond
spanning lifetimes and echoing
even now in your eyes
as you reach out again to save me.

Sometimes Your Memory Is Enough

I close my eyes and you are there,
your eyes always upon me,
that smile I love ever present.

I open my eyes and you are gone,
empty hand reaches out into empty night,
and remains empty.

I listen to the sounds echoing
in the night, they are soft sounds,
secret sounds, that whisper to me.

I hear your voice when I listen
to the sounds in the night, I
remember your voice vividly.

I wrap my arms around your memory,
I close my eyes and you hold me too,
and all I can hear is the sound of your voice.

Hold me dearest, I say, as only you can,
I need you now and always - And you smile
that smile I love and I remember.

To The Aviator

Fly with me he whispers as I open
my eyes and see only him.

I would go anywhere
as long as I am with you.

My feet have not touched
the ground since. Lifetimes
echo in his voice, in his touch -
lifetimes of belonging together,
belonging to each other.

Look at the clouds, see
how they welcome us,
part for us, caress us.

This is how it was always
supposed to be, you and me
high above the world.

Fly with me he says,
and I look to see I already am -
I have been
for as long as I can
remember.

Wispy Notions

Paint me a moon, and I
will plant my dreams upon it,
fold it into an airplane
and sail it through the sky.

String me pearls, and I
will press them to my skin,
to feel your fingers upon them,
and the thread through me.

Bloom me a rose, and I
scribe our dreams on each petal,
with kisses from my lips,

and the breaths we have shared.

Seism

Evidence of something so much. So much clarity. Pensive for a day or two. Thinking only for a moment. Only of a moment.

We have this state of being known as hope.

"We give up, we give in without blinking. Good Lord, what was I thinking?"

Out With The Tide

I compress my tears
into diamonds,
twinkling stars,
hundreds of them.

I pour them in your hand,
trusting you with my fortune.

They slip through your fingers
and you pay no attention,
your eyes upon my face.

Diamonds fall like tears
into the sand, to be washed
away with the touch of the surf.

You let the last few fall
banishing the past,
and those reasons
that I had cried
as only you could.

Wave Goodbye

Heartfelt tragedies are just cheap attempts at escape from reality
This is what's really going on
Feel nothing and live with it
The heart is all that's frozen