Can't Stop the Noise

Typing the words only seems to have given life to it,
to the paranoia that has plagued me all morning,
and now I am steeped in it.

I gave all of myself, held nothing back,
Only to realize I threw myself into the wind,
ashes scattered across the sugar-sand road.

No way to tell where it begins and I end -
recycled love from past lives I try to hold
together, to make it work.

My dysfunctional mind has vomited
all over my disjointed hands and
I can't seem to get past it.

I've broken it.
I've ruined it,
and when I need you the most,
you can't be here.